Heaven or Hell?

Bill Gates dies and finds himself in purgatory, being sized up¹ by St. Peter. "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call²; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. Up here we are all using Windows, but we can't decide whether it's a good thing or a bad thing. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let you decide where you want to go." Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?" St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision." "Fine, but where should I go first?" "I'll leave that up to you³." "Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first." So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad⁴ women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about⁵.The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased. "This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I really want to see heaven!" "Fine" said St. Peter, and off they went. Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting⁶ about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing⁷ as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter. "Fine," retorted⁸ St. Peter, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late⁹ billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled¹⁰ to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons. "How's everything going?" he asked Bill. Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish¹¹ and disappointment, "This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad¹² women playing in the water?!???" "That was the screen saver," replied St. Peter.